Things I would like to see Holmes introduce Joan as, knowing she has to play along:

raptorific:

• “My agent”
• “My personal beat-box”
• “My anger translator”
• “Robin”
• “My great-granddaughter from the future”
• “My manservant who has been instructed to unexpectedly attack me at random times to keep my self-defense skills sharp and fresh”
• “My personal psychic”
• “My platonic life partner”
• “My adoptive mother”
• “My personal water bottle carrier”
• “You can see her too?!”